I'm fat. Now, let's get to the important stuff
Before I begin this little rant I will immediately apologize to you sensitive types who will think I am being mean or judgmental. I am sorry if you feel that way, but I am not sure I care.
So this is a bit of a follow up to my frustration over the weekend with the Dunkin Donut customer who thought “double cream” meant two creamers. Apparently the jury is still out on the proper interpretation of the term “double cream,” so let’s move on to Subway. Now, before I lambaste the woman who was in line in front of me, let me first say something nice. Before I was completely blinded by her cluelessness, I was silently commending her for raising two nice children, particularly her little boy who made the effort to hold both doors for me when going into the store. My first clue however should have been that she was completely nonplussed after he held the second door for me. Maybe I was giving her too much credit and he takes after his father or someone he has seen on TV. Now, to the exchange in question:
Young Male Subway Employee with Moppy Hair and Dark Framed Glasses (Subway Dude from here on out): What would you like on your veggie flatbread?
Customer: (after a long pause) Oh, whatever comes on it.
Subway Dude: So all the vegetables?
Customer: Yeah, wait, none of those (Pointing disdainfully toward the cucumbers while trying unsuccessfully to utter the word, perhaps due to a childhood trauma involving cucumbers? See me still giving the benefit of the doubt?)
Subway Dude: (Completely unfazed) Cucumbers?
Subway Dude: So all the vegetables except cucumbers? (Reaching for the spinach because it is the first container in the veggie compartment).
Customer: (Disgusted and a bit taken aback) No spinach!
Subway Dude: (cool as a cucumber) So ALL the vegetables except cucumbers and spinach? (I love this guy)
Customer: Right (A long, interminable pause lasting until right when Subway Dude reached for the jalapenos). Oh, no jalapenos (she can’t come up with cucumber, but jalapenos rolls right off the tongue).
I got my veggie sub with ALL the vegetables, by the way…except jalapenos 🙂